November 22, 1963 - A Date To Be Remembered

Not a day has passed since I was 15, that I have not light a candle to honor President Kennedy. Though I was born in the 1980s, but I share the same memories and grief Americans had back in 1960s. John F. Kennedy was a great leader. He was indeed a politician but he was genuine, witty and charming. He was an optimistic leader and a true patriot at heart and believed that problems could be solved, if one put his country before self. Kennedy has changed my Life like how he did to many Americans. All his dreams ended on the streets of Dallas when those shots rang out. I believe my book 'One Sunny Day In Dallas' will carry a different view on what happened on that fateful day in Dallas.

Kennedy and his wife Jackie traveled to Dallas on a political campaign as a starting point for the 1964's Presidential Elections. While riding in his open limousine on a motorcade through downtown Dallas, the President was struck by bullets which wounded his neck and mortally wounding his skull. The shooting started exactly at 12.29.52 secs (CST) and ended at 12.30.18 secs (CST).

Interesting facts about John F. Kennedy:

1. He was the youngest elected President in US history at age 43.

2. He was the first Roman Catholic in the White House.

3. He sent the world's first weather satellite & communication satellite in order to get weather forecasts and live coverage on TV programs.

4. He sent the first American into Space and vowed that the first man on the Moon would be an American.

5. The color blue, white & teal for the Presidential jet Air Force One were picked by his wife Jackie.

Here are some photos of President Kennedy shortly before his murder;

In Memoriam of John F. Kennedy

While I Cleaned My Room

While cleaning my room, I found something extraordinary. It came to my attention as it was a small piece of paper placed inside my old diary. It’s a note my dearest Friend wrote me 3 years ago.

My Dear Pumpkin,

I’m so sorry for being pain in the ass lately. My medication is getting me nuts. But I gotta thank you for pushing me to go for counseling. It helped me a lot in many ways. I promise I will stop obsessing about my muscles and not over-do sports and my exercises. And wait, I will also make sure I will not leave the dirty laundry on the floor again. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for staying awake while I studied for exams and made me coffee. Your coffee is as addictive as you. Heheks! And yes I hate you! :p

Your Angel,

A.Iskandar

(Jan 19, 2008)

I read this note the following day at 8pm. I found him cold and unconscious on our bed at 6.30am. He was pronounced dead upon arrival at University Hospital, PJ at 7.45am, January 20, 2008. He was just 25 years old.

It has been 3 years since he passed. I’m amazed how much I have changed and moved on with Life. I’m glad I did.

I never knew how much I Love and appreciate my Life ever since. I look forward every moment for a new day in my Life. We all learn. Learning is lifelong process. Nothing lasts forever especially Life. January 20, 2008 changed my Life forever. I remember vividly everything; the rain, the first cigarettes outside the hospital, the first time crying out loud and the police station.

The police asked me, ‘What are you to Him?’ I froze, gasped momentarily and said, ‘Friend’. The police said, ‘Sorry, only immediate family member could sign’. It was the release form to endorse the burial permit.

All of you out there who rant and groan how fucked up Life can be, earn this. Life is indeed fucked up. We can’t expect a Snow White or a Cinderella story. Reality does suck. Even Rain and Lee Hom are not perfect. No one is and nothing is…

Who wants to know what Life is?

Have you been admitted into a mental institution for PTSD? I have!

Have you experienced being robbed and beaten twice? The RM10, 000 you have saved up for your education disappeared in 10 minutes. I have!

Losing the love of your life to death, right in front of you? You and your relationship could not be acknowledged because the society says so. I have!

Have you experienced a moment in Life where you had to walk 20km under scorching heat and hungry because you didn’t have money to go back home or eat? Imagine when your knees went numb, tremble and almost gave up? I have!

Have you experienced a moment where you had to beg for money from some people at the bus stop and they ignore you? I have!

The greatest fear I have with all these experiences is to Plead. I am so scared, to plead to others not to take something away from me or seek help. I don’t know whether it’s a good or bad thing.

All I know is that I do wanna live a longer life, have children and see them grow up. This is the least I could do. For those who suffered and died, it’ll be unfair for me to curl up in my condo, cry and cut myself or even commit suicide due to my traumatizing past.

I’m inspired by many people and I want to inspire people as well. I thank Mom for a gift She gave me. A gift that I believe not many people are privileged of. The ability to read and reason by it. Not gossip magazine or comics but books, online articles, online journals etc. Everything from science to economy, to aircrafts, nations, history, politics, culture, people and nature.

What is it like to be a Queer?

It is indeed obvious that generally people love stereotyping. Not sure who to blame. Culture? or Nature? Yes I Drink, Smoke, I have Tattoo and Piercings. This package comes with a believe that people like me love sleeping around. Which I don't? I went to a gaybar for the first time in Malaysia and I find it annoying. The drinks suck and music sucks. But faggots are like...OMG OMG OMG all over. Haha! Well, it's a choice. And I'm willing to stick with mine. Bet it ain't easy to be openly gay and to love history & politics. And No no, me no fan of Gaga! :p

Coming out wasn't easy either. Dad was autocratically orthodox and mom is firm yet gentle. It was 2004 and I was 19. Dad was always away working. Mom took care of me during my mid-teenage. We had a table talk. Dad chased me out of the house. Mom dumped dad and left home with my youngest brother and my other younger brother chose not to talk to me. We never talked since 2004 till Jan 2011. It was indeed hard for me. But it was alright. I made a choice to come. They could not accept. So, fark it. Positive much! :)

Since the discreet first relationship I had which ended with the death of my bf, made me stronger and to be openly gay. So, now either u accept it or forget it. Being gay is difficult in almost all cultures. It's all in your head on how do you wanna deal with it. Motivation, Hope and Strength come from within. I bet Anderson Cooper had hard time coming out too. :)

Anyway, I have a large number of straight guy friends who are more gay than I am. But their gfs are smokin' hawt bitches! :D

To all gays people out there. STOP craving for Love and sleeping around. Have some dignity. Being gay is not all about alcohol parties or having sex around. Come lets spread Love. Help the needy. Help in PT Foundation. Let stop AIDS!